


I'm going to make you my Wonderwall

by boleyn13



Series: Marry me a little [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - British, Alternate Universe - Human, And he is English, Fluff and Humor, Frustration, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Idiots in Love, Loki has his own radio show, M/M, Marriage Proposal, References to Oasis (Band), Song: Wonderwall (Oasis), Tony Stark Does What He Wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29760783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “Anyhow, how is your brother doing?”“You could have at least made some small talk and ask me how I am doing. You know, the person you have been friends with for years. Before blatantly switching to the topic that you actually want to talk about.”“Hello Thor. How is the football career going in a country that is not the United States? I assume it’s still utterly pointless. How is your girlfriend doing? Still trying to get a planet named after her?”“You are referring to Jane. We stopped dating over half a year ago. My girlfriend’s name is Valkyrie.”“Awesome! So, how is your brother?”Tony tries to get to know his soulmate better and instantly starts messing up Loki's life. He is not amused and Tony is smitten.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Marry me a little [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022373
Comments: 20
Kudos: 126





	I'm going to make you my Wonderwall

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody, 
> 
> Part 3 in this little series which takes place shortly after Tony and Loki met each other for the first time and then goes back to the aftermath of the 6,5th proposal. Have fun :D

_August, 2009 (10 years before the events of 6,5 is a lucky number)_

“Anyhow, how is your brother doing?”

Thor sighed as he tried to open a bottle of water and not dropping his phone which he had squeezed in between his shoulder and ear. “You could have at least made some small talk and ask me how I am doing. You know, the person you have been friends with for years. Before blatantly switching to the topic that you actually want to talk about.”

“Hello Thor. How is the football career going in a country that is not the United States? I assume it’s still utterly pointless. How is your girlfriend doing? Still trying to get a planet named after her?”

It was Thor’s own fault for asking Tony to show some interest in him when he clearly had another incentive. “You are referring to Jane. We stopped dating over half a year ago. My girlfriend’s name is Valkyrie.”

“Christ, where do you find a girl with a name like that in the depths of Australia. I haven’t met her, have I?”

“No, Tony, you haven’t, but I did tell you about her numerous times.” Thor was already feeling awfully tired of this as he took a big sip from his water.

At least Tony now seemed to remember. “Right! The one who likes to drink and kicks ass like no other. She did sound interesting. Why don’t you come over to New York the next time whenever is your next break between matches.”

Well, that was typical Tony. At first he annoyed you with his disregard and disinterest and then he immediately warmed you up to him again with genuine engagement. “That would be great. We’d love to.”

“Awesome!” Tony replied and then his tone immediately changed again. “So, how is your brother?”

Right, this was about Loki, how foolish of Thor to forget about that even for a second. After all Tony was now a member in the long line of people who found themselves infatuated with Loki’s admittedly rough charm. Thor wasn’t unfamiliar with this type of event and normally the interest faded away very quickly as soon as they realised that there was no way to soften Loki’s edges. Tony might be a little more persistent, but Thor didn’t see it ending up in any different way. “Why don’t you ask him yourself? You have his phone number.”

“Of course I do. I have it written in bold black letters on the surface of my heart. I also know it by heart. I am doing research, pointbreak. Your brother is not just some pretty face that I can chat up and sweet talk. I mean, sure, I could, however, he deserves better preparation. How is he doing? Is it a good time to swipe him off his feet or is it the best time?”

Granted, Tony’s enthusiasm was kind of endearing, Thor wasn’t going to deny that. The problem was that Thor knew perfectly well that this was a disaster in the making. Tony was flaky and Loki was a disaster in his own right. Hardly anybody had proven themselves of being able to handle him. Which probably was the very thing that attracted Tony. This had been going on for a couple of weeks now, Thor didn’t give Tony much longer till he lost interest or until Loki would pull his teeth. Disaster on the horizon. Thor was perfectly happy to living on another continent. For now he could give Tony what he wanted.

“At the very moment I can’t imagine anybody being in a worse mood than Loki right now. I wouldn’t call him if I were you.”

“Oh no, devastated to hear that. What happened to my ray of darkness? Did you upset him? I hope you didn’t, Thor. That would definitely put a strain on our friendship.”

“Very funny.” Thor grumbled as he settled down on the couch in the living room. “Loki is throwing a tantrum because his favourite band broke up.”

The laughter on the other end of the line was bright and full of joy. “Geez, he is acting like a 12-year-old. I didn’t think he could become any more perfect. What band?”

Thor rolled his eyes. “Oasis.”

“Stupid name. Might have heard of them. Some underground phenomenon?”

“No, just the biggest band the UK has brought forth during the last decade. He is crazy for them and now he is up in arms that he is never going to see them live again. Oh and he is also blaming me for that.” Thor would be seriously annoyed by that if it wasn’t something so typical for Loki to do.

“Why? Did you sleep with the guitarist’s girlfriend? What does Valkyrie say about that?”

“Oh, shut up!” Thor was tempted to put one of the couch cushions on his face and smoother himself. “He’s angry because I’ve always hated their music. Couldn’t break up quickly enough for me. Problem is that the guitarist and the singer are brothers and now one of them called it quits because they hate each other. Loki used that as an excuse to rant about how brothers simply ruin everything.” Maybe Thor had also gloated a little bit that he now didn’t have to dread any new horrid Brit Pop songs coming out. That particular piece of information couldn’t be of any importance for Tony.

The other’s mind was already going in a very different direction. “So… how happy would it make your brother if his favourite no longer existing band was to give one final performance just for him? Would it ensure me his everlasting love? Which is going to be mine, eventually, it’s just an attempt at speeding up the process?”

“There is so much wrong with what you just said I am not even going to bother to enumerate all of it. You can stop thinking about that Oasis stunt though, they genuinely hate each other. It’s a miracle they made it this long without ripping each other’s throats out. Whatever you are going to offer them, they’re not going to accept it.”

Tony made a dismissive sound. “They’re a band, right? That means they like money and drugs. I have a lot of the former and they can use it to buy more drugs. Thank you, Thor. You’ve been a great help. Marvellous. Call me when you and Valkyrie are ready to come over. Or maybe I’ll be already living with Loki then. See you in London.”

“Bye, Tony.” Thor hung up and shook his head in disbelief. Loki was going to rip off all of his limbs, one after another. Granted, that could even end up slightly entertaining for Thor.

***

Tony was in the middle of a board meeting when his phone started ringing and the words ‘future husband’ appeared on the display. Yes, meeting was over. “Sorry guys, love is literally calling. We’re done for today. Good job everyone!”

“Mr. Stark, this is most unorthodox.”

“Shoo!” Tony made a dismissive gesture, indicating them to get out of the room as quickly as possible. None of them seemed pleased about it, but Tony hardly registered that and leaned back in his chair. “Talk to me, handsome.”

“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do.”

Loki’s obvious anger failed to have the desired effect. Tony thought that rage made him even more gorgeous than he was usually. A very high to bar to raise. “Today or should I go further back? A very boring meeting with board. Mind numbingly. I had the most amazing dinner and…”

“I demand an explanation as to why one of the Gallagher brothers called me today to tell me to stop being a stupid cunt and it was an embarrassment that I had my billionaire boyfriend call their management!”

It was bad timing but Tony couldn’t stop himself from chuckling. “I am glad that I am not only one that got called a cunt.”

Now Loki was definitely losing it. “What the hell did you do?”

“I was trying to do something nice. I thought you would like a private concert. To my big surprise though they turned out to be incorruptible. I only got to talk to one of them and I couldn’t understand half of what he was saying. Except for the part where he told me to stick the money up my ass.”

“Why on earth would you mention me?!”

“Because the performance was supposed to be for you. I don’t give a damn about a band whose glory days where in the mid-nineties.”

What happened next only drew the last nail into the coffin. Loki went on a tirade, using very single curse word available in the English language. The combination of such foul words and the posh English accent was like music to Tony’s ear. As if Loki could have buried his figurative claws any deeper in Tony’s hear.

“… made me look like a tit…”

“… one of the best musicians of all times yell at me…”

Utter perfection.

“… one of the few persons in the world whose opinion I do give a damn about…”

Tony had always thought poems about love were pretentious nonsense, now he could suddenly see where these people had been coming from.

“… a sodding mess!”

By the time he was finished Loki was out of breath and Tony was considering buying a diamond ring. Okay, maybe he should tune it down a little bit. They practically didn’t know each other, he should give Loki some time to draw the same conclusions that he had drawn. “Fantastic choice of words. Is it my turn to speak now? Sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable situation. That was never my intention. Your brother told me that you were upset about your favourite band breaking up. I thought I could do something nice for you. Great friend that I am.”

Loki huffed with considerably less bite now. “Something nice? Offering them several million dollars to reunite for one performance. You’re overstepping a line.”

“Not really. I am a billionaire. That’s the equivalent of buying you a coffee.”

“You are a complete basket case.”

“I’ve been called worse. Only yesterday by that complete jerk who refused my money and called himself a musical genius.”

“Well, he is.”

“No idea. If it’s any consolation… He seemed to be so full of himself he definitely isn’t going to remember any of this for longer than one day.”

After a short hesitation Loki sighed. “That even might be true. Doesn’t change the fact that I want to strangle you. What you did was not normal!”

“Actually it was. At least for me. I bought my assistant a Lamborghini for her wedding anniversary. That’s what I do. I like making lavish gifts. I am a billionaire. Wouldn’t you consider me a cheap bastard if I bought you a CD instead of hiring the actual band?” It was kind of sad that Tony had to point this out.

Loki wasn’t amused. “Oh, so this isn’t a heavy-handed attempt to get me into bed?”

Tony truthfully answered with a resound “No. I have no interest in turning you into one of my short-lived but very satisfying flings. Thank you very much for the offer. I wanted to do something nice. I am a nice guy.” Moreover, Tony was in this for the long run. He was going to do things the classy way and put a ring on Loki’s finger and then drag him into bed. Okay, maybe not exactly in that order.

“Have you ever stepped barefoot on a piece of Lego?”

What a sudden change of topic, Loki was full of surprises. “Sure, I am an engineer. I did nothing else than to play with Legos when I was a kid. I built a perfect replica of the MIR space station when I was six years old. Happy memories.”

“Alright. Do me a favour. Whenever you think of doing something nice for me again, then remember the pain you felt when you stepped on the piece of Lego, when it dug deeply into your soft skin. That pain is going to be nothing in comparison to what I will inflict upon you if you ever do something like that again.” Loki put emphasis on every single word and Tony was smitten once again.

“Is that supposed to put me off?”

“Oh, sod off.”

Loki hung up and Tony closed his eyes, he felt like riding on a wave of the utmost contentment. Sure, the entire endeavour could have gone down a little bit better, but the idiotic English musicians were to blame for that. Granted, Tony had jumped the gun on that. He could tune it down a little bit. Shouldn’t be too hard. What was that soccer club that Loki liked? Tony could buy that one… Or would that be considered out of proportion again? Being in love was such strenuous business and Tony was still getting used to it.

***

_September, 2009_

“What did you do this time?” Loki sounded more tired than annoyed which was a good sign in Tony’s book. “Have you already forgotten what I said about the piece of Lego?”

Closing his eyes again Tony rolled over and concentrated on the sweet, smooth sound of Loki’s voice. Not a single ray of light had entered his bedroom yet, everything was still drenched in perfect darkness. Morning was hours away and Tony didn’t mind that he had been woken up by Loki’s untimely call. He was always available for the love of his life. “You need to be more precise. I had a very busy week. I bought a theme park, so that was great. Oh and I…”

“I am talking about the fact that the management of one of the Gallaghers called me one hour ago. To let me know that I am not such a stupid fucking cunt after all and that the American has a sick sense of humour. What did you do?”

Tony put the phone on the cushion next to him and put Loki on speaker. “I figured you were upset about my somewhat failed attempt to do something nice for you. I like to smooth out my own mistakes, so I called them again and told them that the whole thing was a prank with the main goal of making you uncomfortable. Which worked out perfectly. I got yelled at again in the most profane and non-posh manner which really makes me question why you like this band. Anyway, your reputation is saved and you no longer have to live with the agonizing pain of being looked down upon by your favourite popstar. This is the moment where you thank me.”

Loki laughed and Tony felt the sun rising inside his chest. “You are expected me to say ‘thank you’ for cleaning up the mess that you made?”

“It would nice to have my effort be appreciated. I can do without a ‘thank you’ though. I like the idea of being a martyr. Can we be friends again now?”

There was a short pause at the other end of the line and when he started talking again, Loki almost made the impression of being amused. There, Tony knew that the other one wouldn’t be able to stay angry at him for a long time. “Friends again? Didn’t you say that you intended to marry me?”

“Naturally, but I am not going to marry you straight away. That would be ridiculous.”

For once Loki agreed with him. “Right. Especially since I am in a relationship.”

“Good for you.” Tony yawned. “He looked nice enough when I saw him at the fundraiser.”

“Yeah, he was a nice guy. My ex though. We broke up weeks ago.” Loki pointed out and Tony hummed in approval. “One gone and there is already a new one. You are a bit of a player, aren’t you?” Not that Tony minded, not in the least. It was for the best if people got to play the field before committing to someone.

“No!” Oh, he was taking exception to it. Interesting. “My relationship ended and I happened to meet someone new shortly after. That’s how life works out sometimes. Not that it is any of your business.”

“Of course not. I am merely making an attempt at small talk.” Tony suppressed a yawn that had nothing to do with him being bored which he definitely wasn’t. There was no denying that it was still in the middle of the night and Tony had gone to bed only one hour ago.

Either Loki was unaware of that or he simply didn’t bother. “People’s loves cannot be considered small talk. That could even be defined as the complete opposite of small talk. I am wondering if you could have done any worse.”

Grinning into his pillow Tony spotted an opportunity that he immediately jumped at. “Is that a challenge? I can do worse. I can always do worse.”

“Are you trying to brag about your inability to make small talk? That’s not an achievement.”

“It is when you want to make the other person uncomfortable.”

“And why should you want that?” The underlying intrigue and interest in Loki’s voice was easy to make out and it was another addition to the mountain of proof of Loki being Tony’s soulmate.

“Oh please, don’t act holy when you are sin personified. I listened to your show. It’s your job description to make people uncomfortable. One can actually hear your guests squirming.”

“If they previously hadn’t indulged in scandalous behaviour or hadn’t been a downright dimwit, then they would have nothing to feel uncomfortable about. Or maybe nowadays public personas are no longer used to a journalist asking them probing questions. Everybody gets special treatment and everything is sugar-coated. That’s not going to happen on my show. You don’t want to be asked uncomfortable questions, then don’t publicly prance around with your affair or end passed out on the table during a charity auction.”

Fond memories. “You could ask me about that anytime, I would be glad to retell the tale. I wouldn’t exactly call it small talk, but it definitely would be a welcomed topic of conversation.”

After hearing that Loki let out a bright and sweet laugh. “It must be very exhilarating to be a man without any regrets.”

“Fantastic.” Tony completely agreed. “Not everybody does it but everybody should. What about you? I don’t picture you as a man who has many regrets.”

Loki’s instance reaction was a snort. “You are far off. I have thousands of them. I am prone to make a lot of spontaneous decisions and not all of them are very bright.”

Now that came as a surprise. “Huh, I would have expected you to be a calculating bastard.”

Clearly Loki didn’t consider this an insult. “Sometimes, yes. It varies from moment to moment.”

Out of the question, it was inconceivable that he could become any dreamier. “Exciting.” Crossing his arms behind his head Tony decided to go further down this road. “How about you tell me about one of these spontaneous, not so bright decisions?”

Immediately Loki started calculating and Tony loved it. “What do I get out of it?”

“Something more interesting than small talk?”

“It’s not that interesting to me, I already know the story.”

An obedient soulmate would have been boring anyway. Actually, Loki wouldn’t be Tony’s soulmate if he was a willing pushover. “Alright. Quid pro quo. What do you want for a story? Are there other bands that you like that I could call and harass in your name?”

“I will personally gut you. Not the classiest of solutions but the most effective one.”

“Depends on how good you are with a knife.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe.”

Why was this slightly menacing tone turning Tony on? Most probably because it was sexy as hell. “Okay, I could settle for that story. Why are you so skilled in the use of pointy objects? I am torn between MI6 agent and serial killer. I can’t decide which I would like more.”

Loki didn’t have the same difficulty. “Oh please, serial killer is definitely the better option. Way less paperwork and you actually get to choose who to kill.”

“Everybody needs a hobby. I approve.”

A lovely sound escaped Loki’s throat, close to a laugh. “I haven’t embarked on the serial killer path yet, but I am not ruling it out. In today’s economy it’s important to keep one’s options open. Ever since I was a child my father has been taking me along to his hunting trips. I think I skinned my first deer when I was 14. That ability could come in handy if I should need to take my revenge on somebody.”

“Well, that’s the first death threat I receive today, but it’s highly unlikely it’s going to be the only one.”

This revelation caused Loki to yawn. “You are called the merchant of death. Of course you’re going to get death threats. Everybody gets some nowadays. Even I got one once.”

“What for? Did somebody figure out that you plan on becoming a serial killer?”

“No. I might have called Harry Potter an overrated, overhyped and predictable book series that definitely are not among the reasons why anyone should be proud to be British.”

“Jesus and you only got one death threat for that? Somebody must have had a horrible childhood… but you already mentioned the dear carcass, so no surprise there. You still owe me a story about a bad decision.”

“No, you owe me for my death thread story. Make it entertaining.”

Demanding, Tony liked that. “A renowned American university that I am not going to name once invited me to give a speech at their campus and join a debate. On a Friday afternoon, God forbid. My original plans for that weekend were to get obscenely drunk, so no thank you. I am a classy guy though, so I tried to come up with a way to tell them no without outright telling them no. I went for the obvious solution and told the dean that I didn’t want them to pay me a fee for showing up, instead they should pay me with The Lord Of The Rings memorabilia That is a nice way of saying that I am not interested, right? Well, guess what they sent me? A replica of Gandalf’s staff, three of the ring itself and one of Frodo’s sword. Obviously I delivered the best speech the students had ever heard. The university deserved as much. Feel free to talk about that on your radio show. I know this story is gold.”

“So although you are a billionaire that designs and sells weaponry you are just an overgrown child. It almost makes you human. That was a good story. You should have used the ring though to make yourself invisible and skip the speech anyway.”

“Hey, I am a man of my word. Also, this is quip pro quo. I am waiting for the tale of one of your regrettable decisions.”

Loki took a moment to mull over his options before he did indeed deliver. “Calling my superior a fool who lacks a basic understanding of real journalism and only got to where he is through personal favours and relationships which highlights a systemic problem in the UK probably wasn’t the smartest decision of my life.”

What a beautiful scene to picture in his mind. “Oh come on, you don’t regret a single second of that.”

Tony’s statement elicited another laugh from Loki. “True. It would be amoral to regret telling the truth, wouldn’t it? Anyway, I have to go. This was… a surprisingly pleasant conversation. If you refrain from trying to do something nice for me in the future, I will not have to eventually kill you.”

“Promises. Promises.” Tony sighed wistfully. “By the way I invited your brother and his scary over to New York in three weeks. Feel free to come with them. Oh and you can also bring along your future ex-boyfriend.”

“What?”

“I’ll send you the details. Have fun at work, Lokes. Think of me when you make your next questionable decision that you are not going to regret. Bye.”

***

Loki stared at the phone in his hand with a bewildered look on his face. That man was a complete basket case. However, one could not deny that he was entertaining and there was nothing that Loki loathed more than the presence of boring people in his life. It was puzzling that they had met through Thor who usually surrounded himself with the dullest of human creatures.

After taking a quick look at his schedule Loki discovered that he had no important appointments at said weekend. Picking up his phone Loki called his boyfriend. “Hi darling, what would you think of a trip to New York? It would all be at the expanse of a billionaire who wants to sleep with me and has made me look like a complete idiot in front of the Gallaghers. Oh, and it would also be a good opportunity to meet my brother. Who is the actual idiot.”

“Sounds like a nightmare, Loki.”

“Wonderful, I am buying the tickets and send Stark the bill.”

Truth to be told, Loki wasn’t entirely sure why his boyfriend broke up with him only a couple of days after their weekend in New York. In his opinion it had been amazing. However, looking back at it, Loki did spend most of his time with Tony during these two days. Which shouldn’t have been a problem since Loki clearly wasn’t interested in the American. Perhaps it had been the fact that Tony had got into the habit of calling Loki ‘Wonderwall’. Loki missed the opportunity to tell him to refrain from doing so and the name would stick for the next 10 years.

***

_March 2019 (One day after Tony’s 6,5 th proposal)_

Loki answered the phone with the only appropriate greeting. “Sod off.”

“What kind of way is that to say hello to your friend who is only in town every few months or so.”

“You proposed to me last night! On live television! On my show! Sod off is as nice as I can get!”

“I see there are some hard feelings, I get it. Let’s talk about that over dinner tonight.”

“You are absolutely mental! There is no way I am going to have dinner with you tonight!”

“Come on, Wonderwall, we’ve been here before. What’s the longest you can be mad at me? Two and a half days?”

“Oh, you want to have a guess? Both Gallaghers happened to see the show last night. They remembered your little stunt from 10 years ago. Both of them! I received two independent messages that were nice enough to inform me that neither of them were going to play at our wedding. How furious do think I am?”

“Uhm, this is unfortunate… so add another four days?”

“I hate you, Tony Stark.”

“No, you don’t. You’re throwing your usual fit after I ask you to marry me and it’s getting worse every single time. Because it keeps getting harder for you to talk yourself out of it. It’s okay, love, you’re a bit slow on the uptake. It’s only been ten years. I give you maybe two more attempts.”

“Oh my god! You know what, screw you.”

“Right, still in the doghouse. See you in two months at my birthday party then? You can bring your ‘kind of relationship’.”

“I legitimately hate you right now.”

“Love you too, Wonderwall.”


End file.
